photo by: Pawel Czerwinski
You suspect something’s up or you’ve heard some troubling information—maybe regarding a friend or family member and you realize you’re going to have to get to the bottom of the issue. Should you text them? Email them? Ask them face-to-face? And then once you do, how do you know if they’re telling the truth?
Perhaps the best way to arm yourself is to brush up on some telltale signs of lying.
So, how do you tell if someone’s lying? There’s no concrete answer… besides maybe strapping them to a polygraph machine, but because that’s not super practical (and because some think that lie detector tests are questionable to begin with), here are some small things to look out for!
How to Spy the Lie in an Email or Text:
Oversharing/ Overcomplicating: If your friend or family member is going on and on about why they couldn’t make your birthday party or planned event, it could be a sign that they’re lying. They want you to get “lost in the sauce” of all their details as to why they couldn’t come as a type of distraction.
Delayed Answer: Sure, sometimes life gets the best of us...we look at a text or email and think “I’ll respond to this later,” and then we totally forget, but if long delays between texts become a pattern, it could be that the person is basically trying to avoid texting you back or answering your question at all—sort of like lying by omission.
Typing Mode: Three little telltale dots signal that the person you texted is in the process of typing you a response, but if those dots appear, then disappear, then reappear again, maybe several times over, then it could allude to the fact that they’re having a hard time coming up with something to say… which means more time to craft up something that may or may not be the full truth.
Focusing on Only One Part of a Text: Someone might use this tactic as an inadvertent way of changing the subject. Maybe you texted “Hey, how are you doing? I wanted to catch up with you, so bummed I wasn’t invited to the party on Saturday!” And they respond with something like “Ugh, been so busy I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off! I know! We need to catch up! What are you doing this weekend?” This is another example of a “lie by omission” or avoidance tactic.
Repetitive/ Pleading Language: This one is especially true for emails when someone clearly REALLY wants you to believe something they’re saying. They might say the same thing in different ways or use words or phrases like “really” and “trust me on this one,” and “believe me.”
None of the above examples are 100% foolproof ways to tell if someone is lying, but they’re at least things to keep an out for if you think someone isn’t telling you the full truth.
They’re also great points to look out for if you’re solving one of our murder mysteries! There are lots of personal statements and police interviews included in our Hunt A Killer storylines… Class of ‘98, Curtain Call, I could go on… so if you want to practice “spying the lie” feel free to check out our store here!